I fear were in for a bumpy ride!

Recently it has been humbling to realize that I haven’t been living life in accordance to my current understanding of the gospels. In doing some soul searching I have come to realize that I am afraid to follow Christ with my life. I fear the drug addict, transient, and sexual deviant. I am afraid of what it would look like to free up space to be available to the marginalized. I am afraid of taking time away from my wife and baby girl. I fear for their safety. I fear stepping out in faith, fully trusting God and serving the needs of Christ’s beloved poor. In my vocation I am supposed to be macho and tough, afraid of nothing. In some regards this is true, I can rush into burning buildings, and search for victims amid the scorching blackness without a second thought, but to completely transform my daily life to make room for the least of these seems daunting. Interestingly enough, i’ve been going thru Isiah 58 and this fear is specifically addressed.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say; Here am I.”

I love that while we are still afraid we are called into participation and action. I think it’s wild that we are asked to cling to the Lord, serving the poor wanderer and clothing the naked before healing occurs. Our righteousness paves the way for us, and God is our rear guard and protector. “THEN (WE) WILL CALL, AND THE LORD WILL ANSWER; (WE) WILL CRY FOR HELP, AND HE WILL SAY; HERE AM I.” This is amazing, it’s one of those if/then statements, it is also a promise! Brothers, do you hear the click, click, click of the the roller coaster slowly gearing up, I fear we might in for a bumpy ride.

Look forward to talking more. Thanks for the encouragement!!!

Godspeed,
Mark

Damn prophetic voices.

“Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet.  Declare to my people their rebellion and to the house of Jacob their sins.  Day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God.  They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them.  “Why have we fasted,” they say, “and you have not seen it?  Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?”

“Yet on the day of you fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers.  Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists.  You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.  Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself?  Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?  Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?  Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?  Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you,  and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say; Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.  The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.  Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. 

 ”If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from soing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorabe, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”

The mouth of the Lord has spoken.

yet another uncomfortable delimma.

So…last night I went to the Portland Rescue Mission to go to the volunteer orientation. I was really frustrated at times with some of the other folks at the meeting. People gave their wise advice on how they don’t want to “enable” the homeless by giving them money that may go toward their vices. I got that warm, shaky feeling from deep within that usually means that I think I’m supposed to say something. I did. Something about how us evangelicals use the fear of enabling as an excuse to do absolutely NOTHING for the least of these. As I processed why I felt so frustrated I realized the root. I wasn’t naive enough to think that I could solve the hunger and homeless issues of Portland by handing them a few bus passes or food vouchers from my pocket(as suggested by some goodhearted folks.)I did however hope that the answer, and my involvement would be simpler than it was. My delimma is that I care about the poor…just not enough to change may whole life. I want microwaved results witha system that is gauranteed. Too bad addictions don’t get kicked easily, relapse happen daily for most, and the only thing more addictive than heroine is the addiction to the streets themselves. These are the very people who Christ hung out with. I want to love, but on my terms, from a safe distance when it is conveniant. These folks need people who believe in them and have a sincere relationship that encourages them on in their sobriety. I fear that my own addictions to comfort, controll, and security may be harder to detox off of than the heroine.

“God help me restructure my life. May I slow down and make time for your people. Help me to be a house of hospitality for the margins of society. Embolden me to put faces and names to terms like “the poor” and “the homeless.” Break my heart for your people.” Sincerely,

mark

It all starts with a thought…Good-bye fear! My first blog!!!

“Don’t mess with me, I’m liable to get punched!”

I am a dreamer…This blog is an experiment in mixing the suttle colors or OUR dreams and applying them to the canvas of OUR shared experience and knowledge.  This, so that through our collective dialogue we might truly know, and as a result live covered in the dusty unimaginable hues of our Rabbi, the Servant King.