Recently it has been humbling to realize that I haven’t been living life in accordance to my current understanding of the gospels. In doing some soul searching I have come to realize that I am afraid to follow Christ with my life. I fear the drug addict, transient, and sexual deviant. I am afraid of what it would look like to free up space to be available to the marginalized. I am afraid of taking time away from my wife and baby girl. I fear for their safety. I fear stepping out in faith, fully trusting God and serving the needs of Christ’s beloved poor. In my vocation I am supposed to be macho and tough, afraid of nothing. In some regards this is true, I can rush into burning buildings, and search for victims amid the scorching blackness without a second thought, but to completely transform my daily life to make room for the least of these seems daunting. Interestingly enough, i’ve been going thru Isiah 58 and this fear is specifically addressed.
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say; Here am I.”
I love that while we are still afraid we are called into participation and action. I think it’s wild that we are asked to cling to the Lord, serving the poor wanderer and clothing the naked before healing occurs. Our righteousness paves the way for us, and God is our rear guard and protector. “THEN (WE) WILL CALL, AND THE LORD WILL ANSWER; (WE) WILL CRY FOR HELP, AND HE WILL SAY; HERE AM I.” This is amazing, it’s one of those if/then statements, it is also a promise! Brothers, do you hear the click, click, click of the the roller coaster slowly gearing up, I fear we might in for a bumpy ride.
Look forward to talking more. Thanks for the encouragement!!!
Godspeed,
Mark
That’s seriously why that one quote connected with me so much–”It’s not the things in the Bible I don’t understand that bother me…it’s the things I DO understand which” give me grief…
You know how I know God is real…because people–ordinary people–people like you and others like you (and hopefully myself) are being drawn into a process of transformation, which is honestly unprecedented in our lives…it’s not pretty–I fight it–I struggle against it–I mess it up often enough–but it’s something bigger than me, something opposite of my disposition and it’s the Lord inviting and drawing us into His heart.
If/then…and we want the “then” before the “if”…give me your light God and THEN I will reach out–then I will love…if you reveal to me…but God’s economy is flipped from ours…”If you…then I…” It’s not about good works or good words…it’s about (to quote you) “joining our Lord in the marginal places he’s already ministering”…literally going with Jesus to the ghettos and finding him there, waiting for fellowship with us…”Oh, Brittian, I was wondering when you’d show up,” with a smile on his face, without a hint of condemnation “I was waiting and hoping you’d come…thanks for coming to see me and join me in my mission, in my work”.
To echo Steve-oh, “we need more like you” and we need more of you…because to me, it’s been more of Him.
Shalom bro,
The fear on my heals that I’ve recently been wrestling with is the following:
I’m not sure that its okay to save money.
I’m afraid to answer the question…believe me, I’m taking my sweet time answering it. How can I answer and know – without action? It changes everything. It’s extreme. It’s unsafe. It’s not responsible. I’m not a “good steward.”
Maybe I’ll trade in my jacket of stewardship for a coat of discipleship?
I’m afraid too brother. I’m only afraid to lose the ‘my’ life that I cling to…but it’s no motivation. That our lives would be made less and His made more. That Love would motivate us rather than fear.
Let’s be afraid together…and be loved together.
I am in the same place, getting out of my comfort zone scares the pants off me. And this despite the fact that by most standards I AM the poor, lol. Economically right now I have more in common with the poor than with my suburban neighbors, but culturally I am white educated upper middle class and just as scared of Jesus in his distressing guise of the homeless, poor, sick, crazy, and drug addicted as you guys.
But I can’t turn my back on the statement, “what you do to the least of these my brethren, you do it to Me.”
I keep being lazy and falling back on “I should take it easy, I did almost die in February.” Problem is, I haven’t felt as good for years as I do right now, and eventually that excuse is going to wear thin. Plus, there will never be a better time than now, I can start my work for Jesus first and then work my job around that, rather than having to squeeze Jesus into the margins of my job. So I am running out of excuses.
In terms of the safety and security thing, hey, I should already be dead.
But for the amazing grace of God, I would be holding up the tulips from the underside. So I really have no excuse, because I know that literally there is no life, safety or security outside of God. He is the only foundation.
Be faithful brothers, we’re gonna make it.